Sandbopwotkinsid is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, annoying bear.

Sandbopwotkinsid created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Sandbopwotkinsid, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sandbopwotkinsid, he will manifest in front of you.

Sandbopwotkinsid's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Sandbopwotkinsid's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no eagles in a room before entering it.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Never think ill of sick squirrels.

4. Never run in holy places.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.