Vonkgetcet is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, ill-tempered weasel.

Vonkgetcet created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Vonkgetcet, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vonkgetcet, he will not care at all.

Vonkgetcet's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Vonkgetcet's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near horses while wearing yellow trousers and balancing three titanium spheres on your face.

4. Always obey Vonkgetcet's priests.

5. Never eat bark.