Kapdusscussfabsafbass is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic beaver.

Kapdusscussfabsafbass created the Virgo Supercluster two million years ago.

If you believe in Kapdusscussfabsafbass, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kapdusscussfabsafbass, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kapdusscussfabsafbass' most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Kapdusscussfabsafbass' Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.