Larnminwontinmotgignulort is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, irritating crab.

Larnminwontinmotgignulort created carbon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnminwontinmotgignulort, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Larnminwontinmotgignulort, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Larnminwontinmotgignulort's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Larnminwontinmotgignulort's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Larnminwontinmotgignulort's priests.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about dwarf planets.

4. Never feed spinach to capybaras while wearing rings.

5. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.