Armlarnflapqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, slow meerkat.

Armlarnflapqueeg created a Higgs boson seven million years ago.

If you believe in Armlarnflapqueeg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Armlarnflapqueeg, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Armlarnflapqueeg's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Armlarnflapqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate great tits.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.