Monnarlbarn Cidkem is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unthinking goose.

Monnarlbarn Cidkem created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Monnarlbarn Cidkem, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Monnarlbarn Cidkem, he will manifest in front of you.

Monnarlbarn Cidkem's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Monnarlbarn Cidkem's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never wear purple dresses.

4. Hide if nine sheep approach from the south.

5. Always look after injured pigs.