Popbedjinbam Nurldim is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unjust guinea pig.

Popbedjinbam Nurldim created matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popbedjinbam Nurldim, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Popbedjinbam Nurldim, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Popbedjinbam Nurldim's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Popbedjinbam Nurldim's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Retreat if nine aardvarks approach from the west.

3. You must never eat bananas.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never think ill of sick birds.