Latzimtim is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, awesome lizard.

Latzimtim created gold six billion years ago.

If you believe in Latzimtim, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Latzimtim, she will destroy your home planet.

Latzimtim's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Latzimtim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never think ill of sick monkeys.

3. Never feed lots of grapes to turtles while wearing brown jumpers.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never mention shrews.