Gandimrat is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, compassionate faun.

Gandimrat created the Milkyway two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gandimrat, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Gandimrat, it will torture you forever.

Gandimrat's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Gandimrat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sit in public.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Always help tapirs.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gandimrat.