Cetnellhen is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring gorilla.

Cetnellhen created the Tadpole Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetnellhen, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cetnellhen, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Cetnellhen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Cetnellhen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Always wear white.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Cetnellhen.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Hide from brown squirrels for they are unholy.