Dibcimjadmumcunort is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, humorless wyrm.

Dibcimjadmumcunort created dark matter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Dibcimjadmumcunort, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Dibcimjadmumcunort, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Dibcimjadmumcunort's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Dibcimjadmumcunort's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from white dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Do not shave your arms.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Never play with disobedient children.