Pangcamnut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, fussy lizard.

Pangcamnut created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangcamnut, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Pangcamnut, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Pangcamnut's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Pangcamnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Always wear white.

5. Fast once a month.