Safgeptap is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, flying gorilla.

Safgeptap created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Safgeptap, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Safgeptap, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Safgeptap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Safgeptap's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed parsnips to sharks while wearing coats.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Do not keep nine monkeys in a large pit.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.