Gedvedfag is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, narcissistic rhinoceros.

Gedvedfag created the cosmos three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gedvedfag, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gedvedfag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Gedvedfag's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Gedvedfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always help horses in need.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never feed tomatoes to nematodes while wearing corsets.

4. Voles are not to be trusted.

5. Always treat otters with great respect.