Sigripaf is a god.

He takes the form of a large, awesome mole.

Sigripaf created a quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Sigripaf, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Sigripaf, he will turn you into a worm.

Sigripaf's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Sigripaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

2. You must love Sigripaf.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not eat cucumbers.

5. Do not shave your feet.