Bastdinwon is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, caring mole.

Bastdinwon created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bastdinwon, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bastdinwon, it will throw large rocks at you.

Bastdinwon's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Bastdinwon's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Bastdinwon in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always help nematodes in need.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never hop in holy places.

5. Never talk about eukaryotes.