Fubcimkemhat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, caring lion.

Fubcimkemhat created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubcimkemhat, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fubcimkemhat, she will not care.

Fubcimkemhat's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Fubcimkemhat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. You must never eat onions.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never feed aubergines to moths while wearing purple shorts.