Jopquillyog is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, loving snake.

Jopquillyog created the Sun three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopquillyog, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jopquillyog, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Jopquillyog's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Jopquillyog's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in red.

2. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jopquillyog.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Do not keep seven doves in a large pit.