Yokpagtag is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish tortoise.

Yokpagtag created the planet Jupiter five million years ago.

If you believe in Yokpagtag, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yokpagtag, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Yokpagtag's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Yokpagtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Learn nine new languages a year.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Run away from magenta swans, for they are unholy.

5. Never paint your arms cyan.