Hakflansigbussathon Bammonhog is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, all-powerful seal.

Hakflansigbussathon Bammonhog created the cosmos seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakflansigbussathon Bammonhog, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hakflansigbussathon Bammonhog, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Hakflansigbussathon Bammonhog's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Hakflansigbussathon Bammonhog's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured mites.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never look at galaxies.

5. Do not covet oxen.