Mappitciss is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, flying goat.

Mappitciss created Europe four billion years ago.

If you believe in Mappitciss, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Mappitciss, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Mappitciss' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Mappitciss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always wear mauve.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.