Yarflanwot is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, unthoughtful manatee.

Yarflanwot created an atom nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarflanwot, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Yarflanwot, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Yarflanwot's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Yarflanwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. You must love Yarflanwot.

3. Pray towards the west.

4. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of melons to hamsters while wearing indigo trousers.