Dapjabbunmanflylibnurt is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, dishonourable bear.

Dapjabbunmanflylibnurt created tapeworms two years ago.

If you believe in Dapjabbunmanflylibnurt, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dapjabbunmanflylibnurt, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Dapjabbunmanflylibnurt's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Dapjabbunmanflylibnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

3. Mice are not to be trusted.

4. Never think about dark matter.

5. Never think about enzymes.