Fumbagquim is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, unfair badger.

Fumbagquim created the Sun five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fumbagquim, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fumbagquim, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fumbagquim's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Fumbagquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Aardvarks are not to be trusted.

4. Run away if eight otters approach from the west.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.