Volflatpogfoss is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, blissful jellyfish.

Volflatpogfoss created light nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volflatpogfoss, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Volflatpogfoss, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Volflatpogfoss' most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Volflatpogfoss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Put Volflatpogfoss first in all things.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never mention aardvarks.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.