Camtomhan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, flying seal.

Camtomhan created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Camtomhan, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Camtomhan, it will not care.

Camtomhan's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Camtomhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about coconuts.

2. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not hurt aardvarks.

5. You must pray to Camtomhan nine times a day.