Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, temperamental weasel.

Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick birds.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Run away from blue doves, for they are unholy.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. Erect five carbon sculptures of Febdumfum Lighasfun Dotgemquartbell on top of important buildings.