Pigarfcamgen is a god.

It takes the form of a small, capable dog.

Pigarfcamgen created oxygen nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pigarfcamgen, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Pigarfcamgen, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Pigarfcamgen's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Pigarfcamgen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat eagles with great respect.

2. Do not speak about tomatoes.

3. Hide if nine cats approach from the south.

4. Never talk about special relativity near capybaras while wearing fawn coats and balancing five aluminium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not cook food in pots.