Cem is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, temperamental dryad.

Cem created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Cem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cem, it will destroy your home solar system.

Cem's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Cem's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your legs orange.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always make sure there are no doves in a building before entering it.

5. Hide if four mites approach from the south.