Garkimart is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, boastful faun.

Garkimart created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Garkimart, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Garkimart, she will curse you with boils.

Garkimart's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Garkimart's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in holy places.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Garkimart.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Do not shave your feet.

5. Never play with disobedient children.