Tenhanquart is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-powerful alligator.

Tenhanquart created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenhanquart, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tenhanquart, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Tenhanquart's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tenhanquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near seals while wearing blue corsets and balancing four iron spheres on your head.

2. Never talk about dark matter near grasshopers while wearing green coats and balancing eight tin spheres on your face.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Erect a giant gold sculpture of Tenhanquart in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about fire.