Hengutminmis is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, impressive whale.

Hengutminmis created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hengutminmis, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hengutminmis, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hengutminmis' most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Hengutminmis' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hengutminmis loves hamsters, so they must be honoured.

5. Never mention rats.