Fadgessbin is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, moody fish.

Fadgessbin created a photon seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadgessbin, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fadgessbin, it will turn you into a snail.

Fadgessbin's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Fadgessbin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing pink trousers and balancing six lead spheres on your back.

2. Retreat if five porpoises approach from the south.

3. Do not speak about aubergines.

4. You must pray to Fadgessbin seven times a day.

5. Never feed oranges to squirrels while wearing hats.