Veendissbut is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, self-assured tortoise.

Veendissbut created a photon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Veendissbut, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Veendissbut, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Veendissbut's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Veendissbut's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured swans.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Veendissbut in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not eat rice.