Kikmeglim is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, kind walrus.

Kikmeglim created oxygen seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikmeglim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kikmeglim, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Kikmeglim's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Kikmeglim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kikmeglim.

3. Do not hurt ducks.

4. Never talk about bacteria.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force near sheep while wearing fawn ear rings and balancing six silicon spheres on your back.