Bessgupnurt is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, selfish cow.

Bessgupnurt created the Tadpole Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bessgupnurt, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bessgupnurt, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bessgupnurt's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bessgupnurt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near hamsters while wearing gray shorts and balancing six silicon spheres on your arms.

2. Always look after injured birds.

3. Retreat if five aardvarks approach from the west.

4. Erect three copper sculptures of Bessgupnurt on top of important buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.