Begbessbud is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, omniscient dove.

Begbessbud created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Begbessbud, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Begbessbud, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Begbessbud's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Begbessbud's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant mauve sculpture of Begbessbud in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Learn three new languages a year.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.