Cebyattbod is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, stupid coyote.

Cebyattbod created the world four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cebyattbod, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Cebyattbod, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Cebyattbod's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Cebyattbod's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat dolphins with great respect.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Cebyattbod in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never wear green shoes.

5. Never eat bark.