Tofcumflan is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, charitable salamander.

Tofcumflan created time and space two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofcumflan, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tofcumflan, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Tofcumflan's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Tofcumflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five tapirs in a large pit.

2. Run away if three otters approach from the north.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.