Damlarnced is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, able narwhal.

Damlarnced created a bottom quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damlarnced, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Damlarnced, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Damlarnced's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Damlarnced's Holy Commandments

1. Put Damlarnced first in all things.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not eat turnips.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.