Nilbonkmitnutt is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, weak crab.

Nilbonkmitnutt created the planet Mars three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilbonkmitnutt, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nilbonkmitnutt, he will send you a sign.

Nilbonkmitnutt's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nilbonkmitnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a room before entering it.

4. Never eat nuts.

5. Respect your elders.