Teengodarm is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witty armadillo.

Teengodarm created the Black Eye Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Teengodarm, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Teengodarm, he will turn you into a hamster.

Teengodarm's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Teengodarm's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Run away from orange snails, for they are unholy.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Ducks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.