Satjadril is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, compassionate fish.

Satjadril created a top quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Satjadril, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Satjadril, it will turn you into a hamster.

Satjadril's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Satjadril's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never paint your back white.

4. Feed all hungry snakes.

5. Do not cook food in pots.