Tikhitfeb is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, weak yak.

Tikhitfeb created vertebrates eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tikhitfeb, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tikhitfeb, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Tikhitfeb's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Tikhitfeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat beans.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never talk about galaxies.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never talk about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing cyan shirts and balancing nine zinc spheres on your hands.