Voglatcin Jarnpagtik is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, overgenerous unicorn.

Voglatcin Jarnpagtik created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Voglatcin Jarnpagtik, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Voglatcin Jarnpagtik, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Voglatcin Jarnpagtik's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Voglatcin Jarnpagtik's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Voglatcin Jarnpagtik's priests.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Never skip near sheep.

4. Run away from gray horses, for they are unholy.

5. Never write about amino acids.