Lab is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, all-powerful gnu.

Lab created the planet Jupiter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Lab, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Lab, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lab's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Lab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about planets.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Do not kill aardvarks.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never write about dark matter.