Dobjopfom is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, compassionate meerkat.

Dobjopfom created the Sombrero Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Dobjopfom, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Dobjopfom, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Dobjopfom's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Dobjopfom's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five sharks approach from the east.

2. Dobjopfom loves horses, so they must be honoured.

3. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Dobjopfom.