Capkamwot is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, prudent pig.

Capkamwot created the Small Magellanic Cloud five million years ago.

If you believe in Capkamwot, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Capkamwot, she will cry a lot.

Capkamwot's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Capkamwot's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Retreat if eight mites approach from the west.

4. Never feed oranges to ants while wearing cyan hats.

5. Do not keep nine frogs in a large pit.