Zassgofyam is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, boastful duck.

Zassgofyam created the solar system eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zassgofyam, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zassgofyam, she will jump up and down on your head.

Zassgofyam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Zassgofyam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

3. Never skip in holy places.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Always wear indigo.