Yarpfunfly is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, deceitful dryad.

Yarpfunfly created carbon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfunfly, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yarpfunfly, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Yarpfunfly's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Yarpfunfly's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick moths.

2. Never write about quantum field theory.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always treat sharks with great respect.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.